“You should KNOW me by now” and “You should KNOW that I love you” was something that someone said to me more than once. Q-tip in hand, I swab these words out of my ear in order to get a closer look.
How can we expect someone to KNOW us, or become acquainted with our true nature, our heart, our mind and ultimately our way of being, if a SOLID foundation is lacking ? I’m talking about a foundation created from an extended period of shared experiences, built overtime, usually through regular contact (regardless of form, although in person is probably the best way).
Can we really expect someone to truly KNOW us and our better self, or good nature, or intentions, if there are simply not enough shared experiences between two people to reference? How should someone know that you love them if ALL that you used to do to SHOW your love to them has ceased, died and been long-gone, buried, in other words stopped? Sure they can have faith and trust in your word, but for how long without something tangible like new memories and experiences and some form of “reaching out”?
If I ever feel the urge to tell someone, “You should know me by now,” instead, I’ll opt to create a beautiful memory by sharing my time, so that they may get closer to knowing me. Not only are they telling me that they don’t know me, they’re showing me, and if I love them, then, they are worth the effort.
If I get the urge to say, “You should know that I love you,” instead, I’ll opt to show it! I’ll show it by doing something that is obviously and undeniably full of love, WITHOUT condemning and rendering the person that I love “ridiculous” for expressing that they can no longer feel it from me, OR I’ll be honest enough to tell them the truth that the love is gone, if that is the case. What reason other than “no love left”, would anyone be OK with NOT making an obvious effort to SHOW love to someone that they still claim to love especially when that person has expressed no longer being able to FEEL it? Is it really “neediness”, when we KNOW that we have indeed stopped ALL ACTIONS, not one, not two but everything that we ONCE made the effort and took the time to do which ultimately conveyed, “I love you”? And so, how could anyone expect someone to KNOW that we love them, if we no longer show it in a manner that the person in our lives has experienced with us, along with other things including NOT being able to even bring ourselves to say the words anymore?
We should really consider how its possible for someone to truly NOT know US or NOT FEEL our love, rather than growing defensive, and badgering them for not knowing.
photo: ebony brown