Photo Credit: “kindness” via tinybuddah.com
“Human Kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” -FDR
This quote makes me think about how some of us treat, or may have treated others in a certain way, in the name of “tough love”, and how it sometimes end up being more damaging than helpful to a relationship (any relationship, not necessarily romantic). Tough love is intended to help, improve or strengthen, and not to break someone’s spirit – or is it? The bottom line is, we should generally treat people in a manner that is respectful, considerate, and in a way that we would hope that someone would treat or regard us. If we, ourselves, deem or perceive certain actions or behavior as hurtful or unacceptable and we KNOW how horrible it feels, why on earth would we put someone else through the same thing, in the name of tough love?
I’m convinced that if we could simply resolve to be our better self as much as possible, by showing and living “a certain way,” thereby demonstrating what is and isn’t acceptable in our lives, then we would probably become less and less inclined to resort to tough love and just simply love. Is it worth it to deliberately and insistently make efforts to get someone else to SEE, experience or understand something or a certain way of being on our clock and to our own expectations?
We must allow folks the room to grow, to learn and to figure things out at their own pace, especially if we love and respect them and sincerely want to see them do better and if we want them to remain in our lives. Tough love between adults or children that is ambiguous, erratic, ego “out of control” driven, and emotionally abusive or cruel is awful and unproductive. The next time we’re showing tough love, let’s ask ourselves if WE ourselves would accept someone treating us in the manner that we’re treating someone else.
Superb!!! The quote was very good. I was unable to view the video. But, your comments were superb. I do not know if you realize this or not, but your thoughts/blogs are becoming apart of me. You really have me thinking.
Thank you Steve, your comment was a real pick me up! Thank you. I’m glad to be able to make some sort of contribution.
A very profound statement and great post! Most of society’s problems can be solved if we would just learn to practice Human kindness. So many are quick to anger, ego driven and simply don’t care about their follow mankind. Simply put, if we just adhere to FDR’s quote everything will be alright! : Human Kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”
Thank you! The thing is, its so hard to see beyond one’s own self and feelings when we’re completely engulfed in emotion. If we could simply remember that we are experiencing whatever we’re experiencing, most likely due to the choices that we’ve made, then we would blame less, because we’re taking more responsibility for how we feel. When we blame less, we’re less contemptuous and more open to being kind. We see no reason to make someone suffer due to our own bad judgements. The thing is, a great many of us will always blame someone else for how we feel, and thus, carry-on misguided and unkind.
A nation doesn’t have to be cruel to be tough. Great quote! Now if only our government would take that advice the world would be a better place. Another great post lovely!
A quote of a former president, you’d think that such words would of resonated and lived on. Wishful thinking to say the least. Thanks for the compliment!