You teach people how to treat you. I believe in this with every cell in my body. Of course there’s an exception for horrible acts such as rape, torture, or like situations. Folks are treating you in the manner that they’re treating you right now, whether wonderfully or not so good, heavily in part, due to YOU, due to your decisions, due to your actions or non-action, due to how you carry and present yourself, what you’re showing people through your behavior and what you have and have not accepted or tolerated in your life. The people in your life learn what is and isn’t permissible or acceptable to you through day-to-day experience with you. Think about it. Yes, it is true that everyone is responsible for their own actions, BUT what YOU DO heavily INFORMS and reeks of the freedoms and boundaries that you’ve put out there for others to take note, which ultimately impacts the way that they treat or regard you.
For example, if you have people in your life who speak down to you/condescend you, make you feel bad or crazy, criticize most of your choices, are more negative than supportive, BUT are sometimes helpful or really nice to you – if you choose to keep such people close, or frequent in your life, or you feed their actions with your distress, time and time again (regardless of who it is, whether family, friend, co-worker, boss or acquaintance) , then you are indeed showing or teaching them that it is OK for them to treat you in the manner that they are treating you, because they are still allowed to remain in your life being exactly who and how they are towards you. And yes, you may have complained or spoken to them, but if you excuse their behavior or forgive them for their actions over and over again (forgiving is fine but note “over and over again”), then why should they change how they are towards you? Everything will continue, like it always has, or it won’t if you DO something different. As the cliche goes, “You can’t do the same thing over and over again and expect different results”.
Complaining, saying or crying that you don’t like something is a first step but its rarely enough. DOING something about what you don’t like by way of action is the best way. Conversely, if you have people in your life who are usually positive towards you, uplifting you, empowering you, showing you support and respect amongst other amazing things, its in part due to YOU and the energy and impressions you’ve left and put out there, as well as the decisions you’ve made and actions you’ve taken to be surrounded by such people. You teach people how to treat you by what you will and will not tolerate and accept in your life, by simply LIVING your life and being in the presence of others. There’s no big class or big lesson, the learning happens through experience with people, day by day, bit by bit and every moment counts.
If you wish that people would treat you better, being more active in drawing a fine line between who you will and will not allow to remain close to you or frequent your life and who you will simply love from a distance must be put in place – this is something I’ve done, you cannot keep toxic people close or in your life at all in some cases. So, what is your energy like? What is your self talk like? How do you see yourself? Or regard yourself? Are you constantly complaining? What’s your mood like most of the time? What is your mood like around specific people? Are people constantly having to tell you, “look at the bright side” or “see the good in whatever situation”? Are you confident and secure? Do you smile or laugh a lot? Are others around you often in a good mood or a bad mood? What is the energy that you’re putting out into the world? What is the energy of the folks that you’re allowing to be in your world, in your life?
The people around you are receptive to your energy as you are probably receptive to theirs (do certain people bring your mood down almost always?). People will drain or eat you alive if you happen to continue to leave room for them to witness and experience you regard your own self in ways that are not the best – or if they see others regard you in ways that are unwanted but accepted. It definitely helps to be more mindful of the energy that you’re putting out there and to take note of the energy of the folks that you’re attracting. When Ghandi said, “Be the change that you want to see in the world”, for me, this applies to all levels of the human experience, not just professionally. If you wish to have more people in your life who are more supportive, who treat you in a manner that feeds your soul and who makes you happy, then, its not other people who have to change, its YOU. Doing self checks are important, being all that you would like to attract is key and showing what and who you will and will not accept in your life is paramount if you want to be treated better. It all ultimately begins with YOU. You teach people how to treat you.
Note: These words are simply my opinion, I am not speaking from a professional perspective to which you must follow or heed, I am speaking from personal experience and merely sharing something that I believe is worthwhile to consider.